Listening to the Voices in My Head

Loki, my beautiful cat, has crossed the rainbow bridge. We took him to the vet this evening, in hopes that some antibiotics and pain meds would ease his discomfort for a little while longer, but alas, that wasn't meant to be.

The cancer had spread very rapidly and was now over the back of his tongue. It was only because I asked him that he ate yesterday. That was his last 'rally'. The sarcoma was not only infected by necrotic. All there would be left for Loki was slow, painful starvation. I made the decision, as much as my heart and soul screamed for me to take him home with me just for a few more days.

We were given a room. I combed him into blissful relaxation, and waved for the vet to enter when she ever so gently knocked. The 'sleep' shot... it wasn't even halfway emptied and his head fell into my hand. I cupped it until the rest of it was injected.

He has no more pain now, but I am shattered. I want my imperious Lord of the Manor, on my desk, demanding to be brushed.

If only love could actually have healed.